Thursday, October 13, 2011

Roller Coaster

We had amazing sex on Monday night. Not that our sex isn't always good, but Monday was awesome. And then Tuesday morning, I found out that I passed this huge test that I needed to pass to be considered a highly qualified teacher. I was riding high.

Until 10:45AM. I called the women's center and listened to someone named April tell me that she couldn't see the actual report about my HSG, but the notes looked good, that my husband's sperm were abnormal, and that we were going to be referred to a fertility specialist.

Hold on, wait, WHAT!??!

I think I put it best in the words of my post of Ravelry:

I’m in shock right now.
We got the results of the SA. He had mostly abnormal sperm. Multiple abnormalities. Serious abnormalities. To the point where it is unlikely we are going to be able to do this on our own without medical intervention. And with the results of my HSG, we still don’t know what is causing my lack of ovulation.
So we’re looking at a referral to a fertility clinic. Anything having to do with infertility is not covered by my insurance AT ALL.
I was looking for answer, but I didn’t really think about this. A problem with DH didn’t even really cross my mind.
This sucks.

I ended up in my co-workers office, crying. There were students still in my classroom so I couldn't cry in there. DH was visibly shaken, and we both weren't quite sure where this left us. He kept asking if there was something he could change about himself to fix it. To add insult to injury, my best friend (who I am thrilled and super happy for) had her baby three weeks early.

We spent much of the evening that we were home talking about how we could happy without children or we could adopt or foster. Wednesday evening was spent doing much of the same. 
I spent the day today with high school students at the theatre where several of them embarrassed themselves and me. I was grumpy and pissed when I left work.

But I finally got in touch with my midwife, and she had a completely different story to tell. His SA wasn't all that bad and she highly recommended getting a second opinion to override the opinion of the on-site person-who-makes-that-decision. So she referred someone, and luckily, that person is in-network. Assuming that person gives us the go ahead, we're going to start Clomid on my next cycle. I'm not thrilled about pills, but I'd really like to get pregnant. At this point, we're willing to try as many thing as necessary.

On a positive side note, my OPK today was this close to being positive! We're gonna BD tonight, and hopefully I'll get a true positive this weekend!

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